I'm writing again, and I'm angry again. The think that really irks me is that I don't even FUCKING know why I'm angry...I just am. I'm pissed off that I'm being irrational, that I'm letting little things that shouldn't bother me, bother me - and I HATE that.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROOM!

I can't take people being stupid, or bothersome, or trying to fill my day with their own pathetic little tid bits that they want me to analyze. (Don't anyone take this offensively if this is possible - I'm just blowing off steam) Sometimes you just get to that point where you don't want to listen to people anymore and turn on auto pilot and just phase through life.

I've placed those sentiments here so many times, and I'm not trying to be redundant - but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I didn't even want to format this page with the date and the italics (the little of HTML that I actually can work with) - I just wanted to write in a blind rage that came from someone else's ass.

I just went up to the roof, hoping for some sanity and peace in a cigarrette and the sad thing was that I sat there, looking out at the city Metro stop and couldn't even deal. I didn't even enjoy the smoke filling my lungs. I was shivering from the cold slipping through my sandals. I couldn't escape the constant ticker-tape like thoughts running through my mind about MINDLESS things that shouldn't, won't, don't matter.

I can't get myself to slip out of this apathy that I've somehow become submerged in and it's driving me nuts. I don't even seem to care about the lack of work I'm getting done, or the subsequent grades I'm receiving. I know I'm going to be denied from the position I've applied to also, and while I've known that from the beginning, it's just another thing that's being tacked up on that mental bulletin board of failures.

FUCK THIS...I'm done with this entry...it's useless anyway.

...maybe I should rethink this whole online journal thing....