Setting: Upstairs bedroom while mother and daughter watch Judging Amy.

Mom: “Maybe you should be a lawyer. You know - you could help kids that way, advocate for them and still be doing good work - like Judge Amy.”

Me: “Riiight…maybe.”

Mom: “You know, you don’t have to get hostile with me. You know, sometimes talking about these things gives them a way to resolve themselves.”

Me: “Hmmm, you’re probably right, but I don’t have a concrete enough idea right now to start to talk my way around the problem right now - it all just makes me a little nervous.”

Mom: “I know, that’s what makes me nervous.”

Setting: Aunt and niece sit around kitchen table during afternoon visit. Niece is continuously fiddling with cap of Arizona Iced Tea bottle while avoiding Aunt’s eyes and questions.

Me: “Yeah so mom now thinks that maybe I should look into becoming a lawyer.”

Aunt Annie: “Hmmm. Wait - do you think you might be interested in that? You could do that. You can still major in psychology and become a lawyer you know. There’s no set formula for that one, really.”

Me: “Ah - no, I was sort of just joking around with that suggestion, just throwing it out there you know? I don’t think I could actually be a lawyer. Wait…what kinds of topics do the LSATs cover? Lawyer-type questions?”

Setting: About 5 minutes after young college girl has entered McLean Hospital for her first day back on the job. She tries to avoid slightly neurotic nurse’s questioning about her uncertain future.

Nurse Faar: “Hey Zara! We’re so glad do have you back - how was school? Are you still going for that whole PreMed deal?”

Me: “Ah no, I don’t think so. I kinda copped out on that one…”

Nurse Faar: “Oh, you should really reconsider that decision.”

Setting: Another nurse enters the scene as the first one leaves and starts in with their own line of questioning - at least in a more lighthearted manner though.

Nurse Al: “So, ZK what do you want to do? What have you been thinking about?”

Me: “What do you mean Al, in life? Jesus it’s been about 15 minutes since I got here and already about 3 people have asked me that question, not to mention the 10 conversations that I’ve had about this since I’ve left the grounds of school. Ah, but seriously, I’m not so sure on that one. I want to do something with kids, that will be successful, that will give me a little leeway with money, which has something to do with psychology and/or art. That’s all I really want - whatever that is I don’t know, but that’s the general picture for right now.

Nurse Al: (laughing)“Yeah, you’ll change your mind about that one - the kids part - that’s going to change for sure.”

Me: “Um ok…sure it will…”

And so goes the screenplay of my life - it won’t change much over the summer I’m sure. I’ll just replay the conversation a thousand different ways with varying answers and considerations from myself. I’ll continue to regret my recent decisions, become enlightened by various future possibilities, and then cyclically become disheartened when I realize that these other options quite possibly don’t fit into the general scheme for one reason or another.

One could say that I’m glad to be back home, back at work, back to a more passive life for a few months or so - but I could deal with out these too-familiar engages, as much as they do make me think about what needs to be thought about.

"Ta na na, ta na na na na - she's got diamonds on the soles of her shoes." --Paul Simon