do i stress you out

you're sweater's on backwards and inside out

and you say how appropriate

While studying over coffee and salad in Cosi we started talking about what would actually happen if either one of us happened to get pregnant. This is not really something that crosses my mind all that much but because of some recent conversations it's been on my mind. We started talking about how the situation would play out if I happened to get pregnant within the next few days.

I began to answer and as I was saying the words they started to register and I couldn't believe myself. I started to explain how I wouldn't be able to have a child at this stage in the game. After being questioned about the moral repercussions of that I continued on to declare that I wouldn't tell anyone, just push it away and pretend that it hadn't happened. I felt I'd be able to go on with my life as if things were perfectly normal and wouldn't mention anything to future lovers or partners and such.

Even now, thinking back on the question I don't think that I would have said much different...yet I KNOW how fucked up that is. Do I have no morals? Am I that narcisistic to have no concern for others? I don't know...that was just bothering me.

I'm not sure that I'd be able to actually follow through with it if the event ever occured...but whatever...maybe I should just check myself before I wreck myself and think about things a little more before I start proposing rash action plans.