if you're a thought

you will want me

to think you

and I did --Scarlet's Walk (Tori)

Every time I think about it I can't help but smile. Just something about the way his arms were wildly flailing about as he was singing "Holla back youngin'" in my ear. Trying so hard and looking so boyish and eager as I'm pretending to be seductive - God, did we clash, but boy was it fun.

I'm not sure that I could have had a better time with anyone else. And it makes me wonder what might have happened if I had just taken a little initiative, had a little guts and done something about feelings that have been itching beneath the surface.

But I know it's better that things turned out the way that they did, without all that unnecessary tension and confused emotions arising from the need for instant drunken gratification.

I just want a boy - not even for the sexual aspects of it (although that is always a plus - ha), but I've almost got a complete library of pictures and scenes in my head which would all be fulfilled with the insert of a boy. I know - it's stupid and pathetic, yes I do realize this. But one of my favorites is the one where this mystery boy has come up behind me and wrapped his arms around me playfully, pulling me backwards into him so we're almost falling over.

Ahhh yes, the smell of boy....

I want a love that's right, but right is only half of what's wrong..."---Beatles