In about 4 days it will be my birthday. I will be 21. GOODBYE to the years of being a minor, HELLO to legal purchasing of alcohol!

But you know what, as much as I've dreamt about this day for years (ok maybe I haven't really dreamt about it all that extensively like it was a life long goal or something) I don't even feel that excited about it. I mean yeah, it will be cool to walk to a liquor store and be able to buy whatever I want without worrying about being taken away in a paddywagon.

When I think about it I want to blame it on the fact that Becky and Katie and others aren't here. Although I know that's not really true; I think I just don't care anymore. I've been drinking for years, I've been using my fake for a while now getting into bars and all of that, and it just doesn't seem like that grand of a moment.

I don't even care about presents or all of that crap. Maybe I should start planning to do something and then I'll actually get excited about it. YAY a party for me! Ok I'm going to stop now...