Generally I like to think of myself as a pretty easy-going type of person. I can roll with the punches, go through life one day at a time, take care of problems as they arise. But lately, I've been realizing that I'm really not so laid back as I'd like to believe.

I hate being angry and upset and I feel like lately I spend most of my energy on one of those emotions. I'm not an angry person by nature, which is why it's ten times more upsetting to feel that urge to clench my fits and hit something so frequently.

At times the frustrations and spite are so consuming that I'm unable to find words to describe it all. I can't happily bitch about the situation because I can't convey such sentiments clearly.

Maybe if I was a little more assertive and less passive-agressive I'd be able to change things and work towards some sort of improvement. And even though I know that half of the work is up to me to make a difference, it's just so disheartening to realize that some people are not who you thought they were at all.

Learning more about someone should be one of the best parts of a relationship, but sometimes you only unearth things about a person that you'd rather were kept hidden. You find that they are selfish and self-centered and don't listen to you when you speak. They are more concerned with the image staring back at them every day then with the living, breathing, feeling being beside them.

Not only is that itself upsetting, but it makes me question my insticts with people and judgement of others. It tests my faith in humanity...