I'm slipping

I want it so bad...something so real. For a few moments there I could taste it. So salty and sweet...right before it slipped away.

I don't want to be someone's play toy, I want to be longed after, wanted for something other than flesh to crave.

I'm being melodramatic and sappy, it's true..but it's so easy to get here, and so hard to try to fight my way out of the tangled mess.

Most times I don't think about it, I can let it float away with everything else that passes me by, but sometimes the outside cues are just too powerful to ignore.

I watch other people and find myself constantly judging, analyzing, trying to figure out what is really going on in their heads while they're saying and doing completely different things.

Sometimes I wish I could say outlandish things and get away with it. I want to make a scene and have everyone stand back and admire instead of smirking. I want to be the one that everyone is staring at for just one minute...

I need some sort of outlet damn it!

(this will be the last of the sappy series for a while - I promise)