Maybe this is forever Forever fades away Like a rocket ascending into space Could you not be sad? Could you not break down? After all, I won't let go Until you're safe and sound Until you're safe and sound There's beauty in release There's no one left to please but you and me

I don't want to write about the passing of time. I don't want to think about how I've spent the past few months, the laughts I've shared, the amount of alcohol that I've consumed.

I don't want to spend hours recounting old stories or looking at pictures, conjuring up forgotten memories. I don't want to be sentimental or sappy or full or regret. I don't want to look back and worry about all the people that I've lost contact with or let fall to the wayside, or all the things that I haven't expressed before it was too late.

I don't want to do and feel and think all these things...but sometimes it's hard not to.

What I do want is to see into the future and view myself from above, knowing that I am happy and secure and full of joy. I want to be secure in my decisions and know that I have chosen the right road. I want to now that I will still talk to all the people that I desire to, no matter how much distance is between us. I want to know that I will be able to accept living at home for a little while (until I can afford my own place) without wanting to jump out the window.

I think about it all sometimes and wonder why it's so hard to know if you're making the right decisions. Shouldn't I feel that sensation in my gut or mind or whatever it is that people talk about, that tells me that my instincts are right. The feeling that tells me that I am heading in the right direction and will be satisfied with my choices.

Who knows...all I can do now is hope for the best.