My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within

September 13th, 2004

Spending much time on the roof last night, after locking myself out of my house and into the stairwell, allowed me to do a lot of thinking. Lately I've been going through this phase in my life where I attempt to rid myself of everything that I've acquired that I don't absolutely need, or at least like to have around. A sort of cleaning house, really.

I've inherited these awful packrat qualities from my mother, I know. I drives me crazy when I go through all of my belongings for one reason or another and find that I have all this shit that I don't need, never will, and probably shouldn't save so that someday I will be able to rediscover old memories and "remember when..".

I got to thinking, when I'm getting into my thirties, my twenties and college days will still seem so recent that I won't want to look back and see what concerts I went to, or stupid things I did. When I'm later married and have children, I'll hopefully be more interested in spending most time in the present and more likely will try to hide all incriminating old photos and mementos from my past. When I'm 50-60 or older I feel like all of those old memories might just make me feel sad and decrepit, like a worn out, beat up stilleto. I don't think I'll want that.

Sure, I'll keep most of the photos, some ticket stubs, and other such memorabilia, but there really is NO need to be carrying arm bands from bar crawls around with me from residence to residence. Those types of things I think are safe to hit the trash.