I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

hunger hurts and i want it so bad, i would kill

cause i know i'm a mess he don't want to clean up

I don't know why I thought things would be different this time around. Of course, I'm probably jumping the gun at this point, and all my anger is due to some screwed up notions I'd concocted in my head to begin with, but here I am dissapointed all over again.

And I know that repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different outcome makes me crazy, but I guess I was just too eager. I really don't understand it though. Over four years and still no one to do all the little things that boyfriends do...god, I'm not sure if I even know what those little things are anymore.

I'm stopping now, because this entry in itself is making me feel pathetic...I'm just frustrated - for feeling like such a fool, again. I have to put a stop to this pattern somehow...