I lie in an early bed, thinking late thoughts
Waiting for the black to replace my blue
I do not struggle in your web because it was my aim to get caught
But daddy longlegs, I feel that I'm finally growing wearing
Of waiting to be consumed by you

Give me the first taste, let it begin heaven cannot wait
Forever
Darling, just start the chase - I'll let you win but you must
Make the endeavor

Oh, your love give me a heart contusion
Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red
Your hungry flirt boarders intrusion
I'm building memories on things we have not said
Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly my love, not nearly - Fiona Apple

I'm tired of ruminating over issues that aren't even to be. I'm sick of trying to read between the lines and decipher messages and tease out just exactly what is lying beneath the surface of it all. I try to tell myself that I don't care - that I can just go along with the tide and not mind being swept up in it's current, but I can't. And I can't help but punish myself for it in the end.