So sometime last week, we had our first "fight". It was stupid really, but nevertheless phones were slammed on their receivers, words were had, and there was a good day or so of silence.

He was being irrational actually, and has since admitted so. It's good we were able to come to an understanding and he was able to realize he was wrong in a sense, because even though I like to think of myself as easy going and everyone always says that I have no opinion, I've found that I can be quite stubborn in this sort of situation.

Either way, it's out of the way now, and that's good. It might have even brought us closer and actually forced us to talk about things we both avoid like the plague. The basic elements of communication seem to have escaped us both somehow.

Still though...I can't help wonder what I'm doing sometimes. Most of it comes from the fact that I anaylze everything to much and he just wants more out of this than I think I'm ready for, but I can't see where this will go. Which is why my eye continues to wander and look for alternative prospects. Which, is probably wrong, I know.

I just wonder if it's more about the fact that I don't want to settle down with him, rather than I don't want to settle at all. Or even the fact that I know that he's so sure and pleased with everything that I feel like I have more chips in my pocket - no longer so in fear that I'll lose him to disinterest.