Over the years I've somehow become a very independent person. Maybe not independent in the way that some people would refer to the characteristic. I've always had a loving family to rely on for support and material needs, but in most respects, I like to figure out things on my own, come up with a game plan, and fix whatever the problem is that I'm facing alone.

Lately, this sort of mindset has caused some tension between the boy and I. He tends to believe that sometimes I am too independent and should want someone to be able to come rescue me from my recent car wreck, or hold my hand while I'm crying, or just try to sort through life's daily problems with.

And to a certain extent, I'm becomming more comfortable with the idea that I alone cannot solve all the problems and it probably is healthier to rely on others at times for some support and guidence. But at the same time, I'm finding that most times, especially with my family, it becomes more of a hassle than a help. I start to feel indebted to those individuals or when they start to truely show that they didn't really want to help in the way thei volunteered I begin to feel guilty and sorry that I asked for the aid in the first place. I'd rather do it myself, my way and that way I'm only really affecting myself.

I don't know really where the happy medium is...I just know that after today and yesterday karma has got to come back around and throw something good my way. I don't think I could handle another shitty day...