It seems that you never really recognize how good things are until they turn for the worse.

I feel like most of the time I'm able to value what I have and treasure the good things going on in my life, because of all of the pain and heartbreak and abuse I see through my work experience. But in terms of my own personal health, I'm realizing more and more that I never truely grasp how good I feel in terms of my physical and emotional health until I begin to feel the opposite.

That's the current state I'm in. Jaw pain, achey muscles and joints, continual headache, intermittent nausea, and possible hair loss. "Blah" might be a good way to describe my current state of health. I still find it sort of ironic that before the discovery of various enlarged lymph nodes, I was in great physical health. Now I'm receiving medication therapy that makes me feel like crap most of the time. Weak and whiny - I hate seeing myself like that or complaining about how I feel, but sometimes is too hard to just deal with it by myself.

The fact that I felt so good before this all happened almost presents the option to forego any form of treatment and just continue on with life and enjoy the days as I was previously. Of course I know that this is not a viable option, because things would only worsen to the point where I would encounter physical effects from the spread and proliferation of the disease.

The good part of all of this is that I know there is a positive end to all of this in sight. The treatments are almost sure to rid me of any disease and within 6 months I should be back to my normal self. It's just hard to keep that in mind when things have only just begun and I seem to be feeling progressively worse. I suppose sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.