I just want to shut it out. Turn it off. Close the door for a little while.

Sometimes it just hurts so much. To feel the pain of realization over and over and over again. Just when you think you've accomplished something or made some headway, it dissolves. I'm left bare and bruised and wishing for the very same thing that caused the initial cut.

I will never understand it. Apparently it's just not enough. It's just not the ideal that others are searching for and I'm tired of relearning old lessons.

Please, just throw me a line here...